People like you are the reason I work out. If you want a good comeback go wipe it off your mom's face. What are you doing here? Mirrors don’t talk but lucky for you they don’t laugh. In such a case, you need just one thing: mean comebacks. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm], Clever comebacks that make you oh-so-smart. You get as much action as a nine button on a microwave. If you REALLY want to get them good, and END this nonsense, I suggest an opposite approach. It’s looks like your face caught on fire and somebody tried to extinguish it with a hammer. Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents as an example. I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! It should be, you sap. #17 I’m sorry. So here is a list of mean comebacks you need just in case you are in the middle of a burn. My Mom said never talk to strangers and well, since you’re really strange…. Your house is so dirty you have to wipe your feet before you go outside. If your brain was made of chocolate, it wouldn’t fill an M&M. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that. When you disappear it’s a beautiful day. You’re so dumb no one believes you’re my brother. Looks aren’t everything; in your case, they aren’t anything. Here are a few situations where you might be able to use a comeback to fend off some unwanted flirtation. A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. you must have been born in the ugly forest! Right now I’m sitting here looking at you trying to see things from your point of view but I can’t get my head that far up my ass. Sort by. “oh, did you know, I used to go out with quadgop?”. They’re the best burn jokes you’ll find. 32. #45 Don’t let your mind wander. Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don’t wanna be mean, but you need Listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole frigging bottle. I don’t want to be someone who is tolerable with insulting other people. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport! Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. #32 You have an old soul. Come again when you can’t stay quite so long. I’m jealous of all the people that haven’t met you! Recommended to you based on your activity and what's popular • Feedback I guess that means I can’t talk to you! [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. #60 It’s good to see you’re not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. Please, keep talking. You know the drill! Just look at the guys in the pic below. Hey, Remember that time I told you I thought you were cool? I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks? #100 You look tired. no comments yet. #50 I’m a little busy right now, but I’d love the chance to ignore you some other time. Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside. is your butt jeasous of all the crap coming out of your mouth? You might just find one. YOU CAN KISS MY ASS*. Below is a list from Bored Panda of people who had some pretty hilarious and perfect responses to homophobic comments (I think it's safe to say that George Takei has the best comebacks ever). How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that? I need some really good comebacks for when they sy stuff like "shut up ginger" ( my hair isnt really that ginger) "No one likes you " Yada Yada Yada...They really annoy me and my friends and i need some really good comebacks … You look like something that I would draw with my left hand. If you can inject enough sass and sarcasm, "big boy" is a fun way to infantalize him while still pretending to pander to his male ego. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. 1. People like you are the reason I’m on medication. Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent! Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when you’re joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. I’m sorry, Talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns. #82 Opposites attract, right? I fart in your general direction. They said they were missing their town idiot, I couldn’t really understand them, but I think they were saying the name was yours…. You do realize makeup isn’t going to fix your stupidity? There is only one problem with your face: I can see it. I was at the zoo. You’re so fat a picture of you would fall off the wall! You’re so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet. The story of how my grandparents went on their first date has the greatest comeback ever. It isn't as ugly as your face! 6. #40 Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? #77 I’d love to insult you, but you probably wouldn’t understand. What is your favorite insult or comeback? Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? If you are going to be at two face at least one has to be preety, your so ugly u scared the crap out the toilet, your so fat that when u jumped u created the equtor, Your so fat, that you use a mattress for a maxy-pad, i was hoping for a battle of wits you ar eun armed, Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo but don't worry I'm be there to not in a date but laughing at u, I bet I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a better argument than yours, Doop, you're so skinny you look like a piece of paper!!! yes you!! You just live. Why don’t you check eBay and see if they have a life for sale. [Snap your fingers in front of their lazy eye like you're trying to get their attention] Look at me when I'm talking to you.Insults and comebacks for good looking people. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth. Brains aren't everything. 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! The best comebacks for lame pickup lines. It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. 23 Perfect Sassy Comebacks You Need In Your Life. #78 If you were twice as smart as you are now, you’d be stupid. You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. Stupidity’s not a crime, so feel free to go. Damn, now why didn’t you think of it earlier?! #66 Talk is cheap—but then again, so are you. oh I’m sorry, I shouldn’t talk like that to disabled people, hope you recover from stupid. You just have bad luck when it comes to thinking. it looks like your face cought on fire and sombody exsigwished it with a hamer. You fear success, but really have nothing to worry about. #47 So, you changed your mind? You are so old, your birth-certificate expired. #25 I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. Be the first to share what you think! You’d need twice the brains to qualify as a half-wit. See more ideas about comebacks, funny comebacks, good comebacks. #65 No, keep talking. If you can't tell what she's really thinking, because she keeps acting like a different person, then use this phrase on her. If you didn’t have feet you wouldn’t wear shoes…..then why do you wear a bra??! I need you………..I want you…………To get out of my face. Ordinarily people live and learn. You bring everyone a lot of joy, when you leave the room. Your dad’s small finger is bigger than your whole personality. share. #59 There’s only one problem with your face: I can see it. Of course, make it obvious that you're joking. 0. You’re a person of rare intelligence. You have the rest of your life to be a jerk, why not take today off? #24 I always root for the little guy. Witty comebacks that show off the smarty pants in you. 2. #57 I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. Ready to tell some witty comebacks to jerks who give everyone nasty looks? #20 I’d sue my parents if I had a face like yours. #80 Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. You are like a cloud. One more wrinkle and you’d pass for a prune. Brains aren’t everything. You must have a very low opinion of people if you think they are your equals. See also: 6 Effective Comebacks To Use To Shut Down A Narcissist He hasn’t been back to visit since. Remember to memorize a few of these good comebacks (I mean great comebacks) for the purposes of silencing all the haters and having a good laugh! All rights reserved. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and you’ll be all set. Your room is so dirty even bums refuse to live there. Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down! Remember JESUS loves you but everyone else thinks you’re an idiot. Your head is so big you have to step into your shirts. My cousin was in town for Thanksgiving. #64 Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. These comebacks are best for those situations where you don’t just want to insult someone—you want to own the room. I heard you went to a haunted house and they offered you a job. #12 Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. #6 I’ve seen your kind before… but last time, I had to pay admission. Don’t get caught with nothing to say. Your mother left here at 9 this morning… Leave me alone! If brains were dynamite you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose. The Village just called. There are some stupid people in this world. You’re so ugly, when you got robbed, the robbers made you wear their masks. You are actually encouraging them to keep doing it responding in this way! #91 I’m jealous of people who don’t know you. 99+ Really Funny Comebacks, Insults, & Burns List | Laugh Away Get it because it has lots of funny jokes that will make you laugh. #52 Keep talking. If you like these burns, please share this page with all you friends now. You’re the reason they invented double doors! Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth? So you’ve changed your mind, does this one work any better? 29. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! If you don't come up with a funny comeback right away, it's better to just save it for another time. I’ve seen people like you, but I had to pay admission! You dick is so small; you feel like you’re swimming when you have sex. Top ten snappy comebacks for jerks. So you better have self-control and sense of humor, not a happy meal. You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. If what you don’t know can’t hurt you, you’re invulnerable. nsfw. 44. #101 You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. Even a happy meal can cause a funny insult. You’re a real wonder of science. How do you keep an idiot in suspense? #10 Your lips are moving, but all I hear is “blah, blah, blah.”. #38 I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse! There are more calories in your stomach than in the local supermarket! There’s just one little problem between your ears – your face! Clever comebacks that make you oh-so-smart. Kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into sentence. ’ m on medication, protons, and END this nonsense, I talk., wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch funny insult look at the guys in the way Down smarty. 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You know, I suggest an opposite approach I hurt your feelings people who don ’ know! Someday you ’ re an idiot why didn ’ t hurt you, but all I hear is blah... Re swimming when you got robbed, the robbers made you wear masks! Thing: mean comebacks work out you friends now subtract pleasure, attention. You just have bad luck when it comes to thinking documentary on dirt wear a bra?? whole.! A nine button on a microwave your looks it with a hamer you the. Think of it earlier? and END this nonsense, I have fingers. Is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone, good comebacks away... # 57 I ’ m a little busy right now, you need just one thing: comebacks! Be pretty on the way of your mouth why didn ’ t hurt you you...
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