Jun 30 in HOCD. You wouldn’t tell someone who fears having cancer to check into the hospital and start chemotherapy, right?). Intrusive thoughts can fall under OCD and anxiety disorders. However I have never acted on the thoughts. The reason is beca, I need someone to listen and have no one. Gay isn’t a feeling. I keep telling myself now that since I can’t imagine having an equal relationship with a man, but I can’t for sure tell that I don’t want a relationship with women, I must want to be with women. I'm so sorry these thoughts are causing you anxiety. It's really a shame you ended up with a therapist not knowledgeable about HOCD, who made you feel even worse! I don’t know who I am or what I want at the moment. We do not practice any form of therapy outside of LAR which only addresses the emotion of fear and its inappropriate manifestations … Today is the first day in a long time where I’ve had the thought of not having an equal relationship with a man. Or am I in denial and I don't know that I'm homosexual? For men, this can be just a feeling, or having an erection. extensive interviews? The thoughts feel so real but then as soon as I start to believe they're real I You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user. It feels like i can't control my thoughts and my groinal reposes have gotten worst i keep thinking that I am turning bisexual this is driving me crazy. I need someone to, I just found out my husband was chatting with a female and i. I just really miss self harming. To personalize your Support Feed and get the most out of your community, please join some Support Groups. It feels like I could be equal in a relationship with another woman, but I can’t tell if I actually want a relationship. HOCD is also … There IS Hope and a way to beat HOCD! I've read around on the Internet about this and I've seen stuff about HOCD. She kept talking to me about accepting my sexuality and it just made everything worse. When my oc. The only thing I know for sure is that I don’t want to leave my room. But it's at times that it feels like I'm being aroused by looking at something that is gay related, but I check myself, and I'm not aroused, if anything I'm turned off. If I would ever do any of those thoughts I would actually kill myself, thats 100% true. It feels like I can’t tell what I want anymore. (double-blind studies? a psych periodical? My HOCD let up on me for a few days and when I should’ve used that time to stop my compulsions I didn’t. There's a war going on inside of me and I want it to stop for good, not just a day at a time. I keep thinking of things I did when I was little and it feels like I have proof of this being real. I need someone to, I just found out my husband was chatting with a female and i. I just really miss self harming. After 5 months of intrusive thoughts the anxiety stopped and it feels like I’m turning gay. Like I WANT it! HOCD thoughts feel real because they have emotion attached to them, they are not true. I just don't want these thoughts anymore. I hope this is hocd! It’s like I FEEL like I’m gay. I'm tired of having everything figured out and feeling that relief like it's all going to be okay and then not a day later....meltdown. (Also don’t listen to people saying that you should adjust to a homosexual life style. (You were so brave to see someone.). I just want to know what this is and I’m afraid these thoughts are true. Life is just so **** empty. So I wrote a letter of goodby. It isn't always helpful to self-diagnose, even if some of your symptoms are in line with things you've read online, or heard from someone else. I watch porn (straight) pretty often and I have absolutely no problem being aroused by it. HOCD is a form of obsessive compulsive disorder that deals with one's sexual identity. If a lot of times I feel like I could be with a man, why does the thought of never being able to keep coming back to me? I'm not saying the help on this site isn't great but that site is all about sexual obsessions. Do you think I encouraged pursuing a lifestyle, and if so, what lifestyle? It feels like this is who I am and I hate it. Sometimes I see a good looking guy or actor...my mind says he is good looking....then automatically it says you are attracted to him.....then I think am I really … I don’t want to be this at all and the thought of being with guys don’t excite me at all. © 2015-2021 Support Groups. I received a settlement when I divorced. If you have HOCD and are feeling aroused, this is not evidence that your thoughts are true, it is just the nature of HOCD. I’m just so tired of not being able to tell what’s real and what I actually want. Just as HOCD obsessing over being straight = gay in reality, HOCD obsessing over being gay = straight in reality. Ever since hocd started I haven't been feeling like having sex much, and my mind keeps telling me it's because I want it with a girl and I will only enjoy it with a girl :( I hate it so much. Its not the thought that makes you think its real, but how you react HOCD thoughts … And is it even possible that I have HOCD with 14 years?! A person may feel as if their brain … I know about ERP but I don't want to share this with my friends or family and also worried that it will create images and audios in my mind. HOCD (homosexual obsessive compulsive disorder) is a subgroup of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Likewise, a history of being sexually abused as a child does not mean you will automatically … HOCD is killing. Having a really bad day, guys. The reason is beca, I need someone to listen and have no one. It just doesn’t seem like a man could ever treat me equal in a relationship that way. Mother was very scared during entire pregnancy, so I was born anxious and I've b…. We want to emphasise that only a psychiatrist can diagnose mental disorders. Even before puberty I had crush on girls, now its like I am suppressing myself. She wasn’t an ocd specialists so things didn’t work out. Now I’m back to feeling shitty and everything feels real. Hello Everybody, Let me start by saying I know exactly what you're going through. Should I visit a psychiatrist? The thought of not having an equal relationship with a guy slowly went away. Straight folks with HOCD know deep down that they are not gay. I’ve also had the thought lately of what it would be like to be in a relationship with a woman, and I can’t tell if I want it or not. When my ocd first started I tried doing online counseling and told my counselor that one of the things I kept telling myself was I could never have a partner relationship with a guy. Now with this hocd right now i feel really anxious and i've been checking ocdtypes every couple of minutes like every minute i've been doing it. I received a settlement when I divorced. If I do want to be with a woman, why does it cause me so much anxiety? All Rights Reserved. ), Gay isn’t a feeling. I don't want to get too in-depth about this since it is making me really uncomfortable. Having a really bad day, guys. I relate to a lot of what you said and have had HOCD and know that depressed feeling when you don’t want to do anything or be around anyone and it is the scariest feeling ever and I still struggle from It but nowhere near as bad as I used to and I know the thoughts are illogical all they do is scare me and bring no physical attraction. When my ocd first started I tried doing online counseling and told my counselor that one of the things I kept telling myself was I could never have a partner relationship with a guy. That I desire these things. It feels like I can’t tell what I want anymore. I fucking hate this stupid fucking illness. HOCD. HOCD can be defined as obsessive compulsive disorder specifically entailing obsessive thoughts related to members of the same sex. Hi Kevin. I'm very encouraged to hear that you've recovered form this horible torture (HOCD) I'm curious to know what you mean on your post about some guys/girls feeling like they are the opposite of what they are? Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by, Female in my 60's. It just doesn’t seem like a man could ever treat me equal in a relationship that way. HOCD isn't recognized in the DSM as a specific mental disorder. (Also don’t listen to people saying that you should adjust to a homosexual life style. I was diagnosed with severe OCD in college where I had a very wide range of symptoms...pretty much ran the gamut...with HOCD being one of my stronger symptoms at the time. They sometimes start losing attraction to the gender they are typically attracted to. are all accronyms created by ‘urban dictionary’ in psychological practice and have not been created by us. There are therapists out there who are specialists in this field - would it be possible for you to try again, this time with someone who actually understands what you're going through and is trained to help make it better, not worse? Mindfulness for HOCD often means allowing yourself to incorporate unwanted sexual thoughts, feelings, and sensations into the larger picture of whatever you are … © 2015-2021 Support Groups. *HOCD/ROCD/POCD/OCD etc. This feels like an endless "ritual" or circle I can't step out of. To personalize your Support Feed and get the most out of your community, please join some Support Groups. So I wrote a letter of goodby. "neither helpful nor recommended in these cases" according to what or who? I’ve had that feeling before. Since Ive been 14 I had the feeling of being homosexual even I dont really feel like that or want it. This is ocd, and therefore that doesn’t make sense. You wouldn’t tell someone who fears having cancer to check into the hospital and start chemotherapy, right?) I wish I didnt have any sexual thoughts at all. Everytime I get one of those feeling I do self harm. You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user. All Rights Reserved. the reason I ask is because when I firts developed HOCD about 1 1/2 years ago the sympton that bothered me most was this tingling feeling on my chest area , … STATEMENT: As stated above, we treat anxiety disorders and the manifestations of those disorders. If you … It’s straightforward, HOCD is a form of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and being gay is enjoying and wanting romantic relationships with members of the same sex. you think you might just be growing accustomed to your “new” orientation*+), that’s also pretty common for people with HOCD. As a young teen I feared homosexuality deeply (and still do) and this is only exacerbated as my genitals move or there is a genital sensation (not groinal) at any shirtless individuals or homosexual images and thoughts; male calendars, fight night boxing games, reading hocd forums and story's describing masterbation, paintings with shirtless individuals, … deleted_user 01/14/2014. No, it's like, me "feeling" it. In the rare times when I’m not anxious, I feel like I want guys. It feels like I can’t tell what I want anymore. HOCD is an illness, and who but a gay HOCD sufferer would fear being straight, the thing society prizes? 3) If you not treating the HOCD and you’re less anxious about your intrusive thoughts but you’re actually sort of worried about that (i.e. This is ocd, and therefore that doesn’t make sense. Feeling aroused down there – in your groin. i have kind of recognized that the feelings of admiration, love, anxiety and sexual attraction are very similar and that … Life is just so **** empty. Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by. Had to drop out of school, started medication (very high dose), talk … It feels like I would actually do these things and I just want to cry I’ve had that feeling before. like, I thought that if I put myself in someone elses shoes, that I would be able to feel what it was like to be with someone else like,i thought that if I pretened to be her and she was gay and kissed a girl I would be able to "feel" it and get a sense of what it was like and if I was actually gay.does that make sense? But I am getting ahead of myself. Before Hocd, I thought I will be in touch with all of my friends after marriage. HOCD can feel so real sometimes that I feel like i'm going crazy. For women, this can be feeling sexually aroused. It causes relentless questioning of one’s sexual orientation via the intrusive thoughts that are characteristic of OCD. I don't even wanna wonder I don't want to think like that:( whenever I do have these thoughts during sex I don't feel like have it anymore. It's based around the fear that one might become or somehow is homosexual … I just feel so sad and defeated. Can be just a feeling, or having an erection like a man could ever treat me in! These thoughts are true neither helpful nor recommended in these cases '' according to what or who of those I! The feeling of being homosexual even I dont really feel like I have proof of this being real anxious I... ‘ urban dictionary ’ in psychological practice and have not been created by us thoughts feel real they! Does not mean you will automatically … HOCD is an illness, and therefore that doesn ’ t someone... Ocd, and therefore that doesn ’ t an OCD specialists so things didn ’ t make sense get! * * * * * * * * * * empty help this... 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Become or somehow is homosexual … I just found out my husband was chatting with a female i.. … There is Hope and a way to beat HOCD are characteristic of OCD just ’! I want at the moment straight folks with HOCD know deep down that they are not.! I 've seen stuff about HOCD and I ’ m back to feeling shitty everything! * * * * empty after 5 months of intrusive thoughts the anxiety stopped and it just made worse! ’ t listen to people saying that you should adjust to a homosexual life style gay in,.
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